While I have only been physically transitioning for less than a year at this point, this has been a long path. To help understand the journy, I've created a timeline:

I wasn't aware that I was trans when I was a young child. However, I have fond memories of watching my aunt put on her make-up whenever she visited. I would stand in the doorway of the bathroom, and just stare. Nobody though anything strange about it -- they thought it was cute. Little did we all know...

Additionally, I've been told that when I was very young, some of my family remarked at how feminine I looked. I didn't find out about that 'till very recently -- it's not the kind of thing you tell a boy. I sure was cute though!

I first remember wishing I was a girl when I was eleven. It was a stressful year for me -- my mom had moved overseas with my sister, and I started living with my dad. I have no idea exactly when it started, but once it did, it consumed me.

I spent summers in Europe, visiting my mother. She worked, and my sister would be in the states visiting our father, so I had a lot of time to myself. That is when I started dressing in my mom's and my sister's clothes. Again, I don't remember the first time, or what went through my mind. I just remember doing it every chance I got. It made me feel comfortable, wearing the clothes that I wanted to, but could never do in public.

I continued to cross-dress in high school. Both my dad and my step mother worked, so I had hours alone at home after school every day. I never got caught.

All this time, wishing that I was a girl, or had been born a girl dominated my thoughts. While I had heard of transsexuals, I didn't put it together that I was one, and that there was something I could actually do about it. My fantasies were typically of a sci-fi nature, getting kidnapped by a mad scientist and having my brain swapped with a pretty girl, followed by the schientist getting killed during my rescue -- leaving me stuck like that. Oh no!

I knew my desires and cross-dressing were things I couldn't share with anyone, so I hid them. I over-componsated for my feminine side by building up my macho persona. I wasn't a jerk, or anything like that but I did try to be a "tough guy" and did things like try to play football -- I was horrible!

I went away for college, and wasn't very happy for my first two years. I didn't like the classes I was taking and some of the concepts just didn't sink in with me. I was living in the dorms and had no privacy. I stopped cross-dressing completely, but being surrounded by so many young women really agrivated my feelings of discomfort in my own gender role.

I spent my third year abroad as an exchange student. It was an amazing year for me, and I made some really wonderful friends. When I returned, I had decided to change my major. Shortly after, I decided to change my gender while I was at it...

Again, I don't know what made the connection for me -- maybe I was watching some talk show about transsexuals when I should have been studdying. However it happened, I realized that I was a transsexual. I found a therapist, and started to see him every other week. I decided to transition after graduation, and I started coming out to those close to me -- my immediate family and my closes friends. I was very fortunate to be fully supported by everyone I came out to. A lucky streak that continues to this day. I started growing my hair out and losing weight.

I graduated and moved to San Francisco -- for work, but it just happened to be one of the most acceping places to live for trasitioning. I don't know what happened, but I didn't do it. I think it was a combination of negative media stereotypes (Jerry Springer, etc) and a lack of visible transgender role models, but whatever the cause, I didn't transition.

I cut my hair and started gaining weight. A lot of weight. Eventually I stopped cross-dressing (I started again after my year as an exchange student, with the return of my privacy). It became almost impossible to find anything that fit, and even if it did, I wasn't comfortable. Without the comfort, there was no reason to even attempt to cross-dress anymore.

This went on for nearly ten years. I started seeing a therapist again for relationship issues and mild, occasional depression. Eventually, I realized that prolems were primarilly because of this surpressed gender discomfort. I never stopped dreaming about becoming a woman, but I thought it was an impossibility.

This realization coincided with my catching several documentaries featuring transgendered people. Transgeneration, Beautiful Daughters and several other documentaries showed me passable, beautiful trans women -- unlike anything I had seen before. It made me realize that transitioning wasn't so out of the question for me.

Before I could commit to a transition, had to lose weight. I told myself that if I lost enough weight to see if I'd be passable, then even if I wasn't happy with how I looked the weightloss would still be benefitial. It turned out that once I decided upon a path, the weight just fell off. I lost 65 pounds in nin months! I was very happy with the results, and decided to go for it!

I started facial hair removal in June of 2006. I started having 2-hour electrolysis sessions on a weekly basis, until I had racked up about 25 hours. It hurt, was expensive and was very slow going.

About that time, some friends of mine started getting laser treatment for hair removal, and were very happy with the results. I decided to switch to laser. I payed for a 6-session package which gave me a year-long guarantee after the final session and began. Each session lasts about twenty minutes, and is still painful, but bearable. They are also spaced about two months apart. About a week to two after a session, my skin breaks out, but once it clears up, I have less hair growing on my face.

After six sessions, I still have to shave -- but not nearly as often, once every two or three days. What grows are light, thin hairs so I could probably go longer between shaves without any worry. Becasue of the guarantee, I will keep going until even these hairs are gone, or at least peach fuzz.

I started taking feminizing hormones when I was 32, in August of 2006. My doctor started my out on a low dose, but after about five or six months, my dose had gratually been increased to a decent amount.

At the time of this writing, it has been almost nine months since I started. I'm amazed at how much they've changed me, in both subtle and not-so-subtle ways. The big changes have been in how my fat is distributed around my body, and of course breast development. In addition, my skin has become much softer, I have less body hair (no more back hair! yay!), I don't smell as bad (that's the one that makes my sister the most happy), I sweat less -- resulting in smaller pores and my skin has cleared up.

One thing that I haven't notice, which I was expecting to is emotional changes. I have not cried once since starting HRT, nor have I experienced mood swings.

One of the hardest things for me was coming out at work. I started living as a female in my social life in November of 2006, but I had recently started a new postion at work, and felt it best to keep the status quo while I settled in.

By early 2007, I started feeling anxious going into work in boy-mode. It felt less and less like "me" and more like a persona that I was putting on. I was also afraid that I'd forget to remove all of my makeup, or that someone would notice the changes -- some did notice, but though I was just gaining weight. I hid what I could with a hoodie that I didn't take off for months. I was also regularly being told I looked like a girl, or even "ma'amed" when I was out. I let my hair down from a pony tail, and started wearing more androgenous clothing, including women's jeans.

Eventually, the anxiety got bad that I could hardly even go into work. I decided that I had to do something, and began to plan how to come out. I met with my manager, who took it very well. Then we planned with HR, and within two weeks, I came out at work. I had thought about what to say almost every day for nearly a year... And nothing would have prepared me for how it went. Everyone was amazingly supportive! Sure, they were surprised (some more than others), and a few seemed a bit uneasy for the first few days, but eventually they warmed up. I came out on a Friday, and on the following Monday, I showed up to work in girl-mode. I've been full-time ever since.

The first thing I did after going full-time was change my dirver's license. California is one of the few states which still honor commonlaw name changes, so I was able to go into the DMV and walk out that same day with a new driver's license with my new name -- and gender!

I am now in the process of getting a court order to change my name. This is needed in order to change the name registered with Social Security, on my passport, credit cards, etc. I've filed the papers, paid the fees, posted the notice in a local paper, and now all I have to do is wait for my court date -- in June.

I am planning to have surgery in Dec. of this year with Dr. Toby Meltzer in Scottsdale, Arizona. I have a consultation planned in June, but have not yet reserved the actual date for the surgery.

Dr. Meltzer performs a two-stage procedure, with the 2nd part a few months after the first. I'm hoping to schedule the second part to coincide with spring break so I can have a teacher friend stay with me for it. The recovery time for the second stage is much less than for the first stage.

I hopefully have a lot of time left to live as Jenn. It's still new to me now, but it's getting more and more comfortable every day. I feel that I'm starting to pass better as time goes on -- a combination of the effects of hormones, as well as being more comfortable in my own skin.

I see my biggest challenges in the near future are learning to use a more feminine voice, and losing more weight. I still carry my weight in male places, and I have to be careful what I wear so I don't flaunt it. I think the areas that are the biggest give aways are my face and my belly. I took a break from working out and eating right, but I'm determined to get back on track, and lose this excess weight. Even if I don't, I'm still very pleased with how I've turned out.